The void that exists when there is a feeling of deep searching that is seemingly endless. There are brief moments when you find a ledge to hold on to, a feeling of purpose and energy. However, if it is not what you are truly meant to do or become, it is very temporary. At the edge of this ledge is the chasm that you must step into to move forward.
Searching for the ultimate purpose is a long journey for some of us. Others seem to find it quickly, however they may have different journeys to embark on in their lives. The journey feels quite daunting as you seek to blend your God given talents and gifts with opportunities in life. When you are looking to contribute to your family, whether it be financially, emotionally or spiritually, finding this purpose can be like finding a piece of glitter in a dark cave.
Life is all about making choices. Each day there are countless choices to make. We fought for this ability before we came here. It is an amazing gift, the ability to choose. But what if there are many choices and options and you don’t know which one to make? What if you have come to a place in life where there are not just two roads, but many to choose from? It is easy to get stuck there, because each road presents many options…good and bad. There is not one road that seems to stand out as the one that would be the best.
I have found myself staring at many roads right now. I want so badly to make the best choice for my family and myself. I fear making a choice that would not be what my Heavenly Father would have me do. Then there is the thought that it may not matter which choice I make. I find myself desiring to go full-trottle, however not knowing which road to take, keeps me in neutral. I know that is where the adversary would have us stay…in neutral, because there is no forward progression, no happiness there, no learning, no relying on the Savior for help and strength.
If you have ever been in a place like this you know that there are so many different ‘voices’ trying to pull you in directions that are not necessarily where you should go. They speak of negatives and failures. Their sole purpose is to make you miserable and indecisive. They can be quite convincing at times…they have had a lot of practice.
It is one of the scariest places I think I have ever been. I have worked so hard to find who I truly am, to know that I am supposed to be happy, that I am someone of worth. I don’t want to lose all of the ground I have made. How grateful I am to know that any promise I have been made by my Heavenly Father will come to pass. I understand that there are times in life when we are placed in situations beyond what we feel we can handle. The important thing for me to remember is that ALL of my prayers are heard. My path is mine and He will lead it…even if it is not right now or ten seconds ago.