Life has a funny way of defining our hearts. We learn from experience and the contrasts that we live. It is how it was designed for us…there is no light without the dark, no happy without the sad, no joy without pain.
Today found me on my knees, once again, pleading with Heavenly Father…searching for that right prayer. Sometimes when I speak to Him I learn. It was a quiet thought that came into my heart…gratitude. I was grateful that He sees in me strength that I never thought I had. It is strength that I definitely do not feel as we struggle under the load we are meant to carry at this time, yet it is strength.
I came to this as I pondered what we are meant to learn in this. I thought about the many times I have been on my knees asking that deliverance come, because I thought I could not go any more. He has shown me that I can indeed go on and put one foot in front of the other. I marveled that we have come so far, yet I recognize it has been with the help of His hand. Obviously my solutions are not His, because they would have been put in place a long time ago.
Another realization came into my heart…the tears I have shed have been for the heartache I see in one I love more than anything. I feel as though the little I can do is not enough, because the burdens remain. I want more than anything for my prayers to be what is needed to lift them. As I look into those beautiful eyes I see the determination to keep going, not matter what. I have much to learn from these eyes.
There are days when hope just doesn’t seem to lift the burdens any more. I guess it is when what we hope for is not ultimately something He deems necessary, even if it is the best we have. These are the days when all we have to hold on to is the promise of a better day. Until that day we have to keep our heads up and shed a few tears along the way.
There is nothing that I would love to give more than deliverance, however it is not mine to give. All I have to offer is my heart and unwaivering love…I hope it is enough.