It is such a difficult place to get lost in….our own hearts. We lose sight of all that is good, because we can’t see past our desire for something more, something better, something new. There is a special emptiness that engulfs my entire soul, preventing me from moving forward, thinking and learning.
After a long fought battle to learn that my purpose is to be here for my kids right now, I asked the questions,
- “Now what?”
- “What do I do for me?”
- “How do I find joy and fulfillment in life when they are gone all day?”
- “What do I have to offer?”
Truth be told, the questions were not asked in a positive spirit….it was more like pouting. There are many times I feel like an eternal toddler when it comes to my progression, but at least I am progressing.
Having a purpose is not the end-all answer to who we are and what we are becoming. It just allows us to understand why we are where we are a little better. I wanted something that would allow me to progress within this purpose, so that I can be the mom and wife I need to be.
I recently read in a book a story that changed my heart and life.
“Once I saw a little boy sitting at a piano, and vainly trying to bring harmony out of the keys; and I saw that he was grieved and provoked by his inability to play real music. I asked him the cause of his vexation, and he answered, “I can feel the music in me, but I can’t make my hands go right.” The music in him was the URGE of Original Substance, containing all the possibilities of all life; all that there is of music was seeking expression through the child.”
I recognized a creative process within my heart that needed to have a voice given to it. I had been feeling like I had nothing to offer, no creativity that would bless the lives of others. Yet, there have always been ideas given to me that are seeking a voice, a life if you will.
It was then I realized that there are certain gifts I have been given that are the means for these little ideas to receive a voice. These gifts have come from One who understands me and trusts that when I listen I will give life to the things He needs me to create. I finally get why I am happiest when I am creating, whether it is with words, wood, food or whatever medium is needed. It is what I am meant to do.
It is such an amazing feeling…knowing the ideas I have are there for me to create. I simply needed a little coaching, an open heart and an understanding ear to receive that which I searched for.
I once was lost, but now am found…..
Reblogged from own-who-you-are.com