Some years ago, my husband and I decided we needed to do just that….allow Him to guide our lives so that He can do with us what He needs. Thinking back over the time that has passed since that decision, He has been molding us with many great and challenging experiences.
Molding is not a gentle craft….there is the stripping away of unnecessary behaviors and thoughts, there is carving of new places to hold greater emotions, there is kneading to soften the hard places within us, and let us not forget that there is constant pressure applied so that we are shaped to become who He needs us to be.
Experiencing each one of these processes has not been comfortable. There have been many moments that I have wanted to buckle under the constant pressure placed on our backs. Many days I have been driven to my knees begging for deliverance, because I didn’t think we could handle any more.
In His wisdom, He sent the power of the Atonement to bear us up. This power came in ways that I didn’t understand (mostly because I was looking for something else). I was given brief moments of clarity, days that the burden was taken completely, people who truly love me and hope when I could not see any.
Mostly I was given more to carry.
There have been decisions placed before us this past week that have required us to look deeper into this choice we have made. Looking back a few weeks ago, I would not have had an open heart to consider what He may ask us to do. Yet, through quiet whisperings, feelings and times of pondering, my heart has opened.
Underneath this load, He has taught me who is in charge.
Thankfully it is Him. Thankfully He sees me for who I truly am. Thankfully He is patient with me. Thankfully He did not answer my pleading for deliverance. Thankfully He trusts me to listen and make the decisions that are necessary.
I would not be who He needs me to be without the constant molding and the Atonement of Jesus Christ to strengthen me.