It is all about the journey….

I Am Still Here

daisyFor the longest time I have felt I should write about an experience in my life that was completely terrifying. I have just barely begun to understand this event and the impact it has had on me. I share it because I need to…hopefully for someone who needs it.

The summer before 1st Grade was pretty hot, but being an active 5 year old, I didn’t allow the heat to slow me down much. I truly enjoyed playing outside with my friends. The street I grew up on felt like such a big world, big enough for my imagination. The street itself is a main thoroughfare and even then it was very busy. I grew up with the most strictest of rules to never go into the street. I was smart enough then to listen to my parents.

On one particular day my friend and I were invited to play with someone who lived all the way across the street. It felt like a mile. With my mom’s permission, we set off to cross this gulf that divided us from summer fun. My friend made it safely across….

After 3+ decades, the memories started to surface. I remember starting across the street. I looked up to see my friend and there was sheer terror in her eyes. Looking to my left, I saw the car. I froze. There was nothing I could do, but think, “I am going to cause my mom so much pain today.”

The car impacted me and threw me up at least 6 feet into the sky. I landed on the ground and promptly lost consciousness for a time. The next thing I remember was waking up in the ICU with tubes in my hand, a huge brace on my leg and bandages everywhere. I can’t even imagine what my parents went through….

As terrifying as it has been to relive these moments of my life, I have been blessed with the great gift of seeing things in a different light.

The miracles that surrounded that moment in my life are far more powerful than the tragedy.

As the paramedics came onto the scene and heard what had happened, they told my parents that there is no way I should have been thrown into the air. They said that almost always any type of accident involving a child my size and a moving car resulted in the child being drug under the vehicle and the child not living through it.

As blessings would have it, the accident happened right in front of a house where a young man lived who had just received training to become a paramedic. He heard the tires screech, grabbed his bag and ran out the front door. He took charge of the situation and quickly set my broken leg. Had he not been there at that time, my leg would have been permanently disfigured. He also bandaged up those parts of me that were bleeding profusely.

The most incredible miracle came when I felt safe enough to understand this time. I have always had this propensity to freeze at times in my life when I was truly terrified. I just didn’t know what else to do after this moment. I was blessed to understand that this happened for a reason. I shaped me, strengthened me and taught me that I can overcome. It taught me that I am still here for a reason, something that is far bigger than what I can understand sometimes.

This is a knowledge I have to hold onto when I am faced with moments such as those I have had as of late. I think we all have moments in our lives when we don’t feel like we have a purpose, when our trials are greater than what we can handle and when we feel like we don’t have the strength to even kneel in prayer.

I am still here, because He needs me to be.

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