It has been just over a week in our new home, new area and new adventures. I am often amazed at how much learning Heavenly Father can fit into one week….one day.
Last week was filled with adapting and change. It became apparent quickly that there would be more change necessary for our son as we navigated his schooling. More than anything he wanted to stay where he was, because there were so many good friends and (I hate to say this as a Mom, but I will) girls. It was a good school.
I had the feeling near the beginning of the week that it would be his last week there. In my normal way, I wanted to just tell him that it was time to change and be done with it. It is just ‘easier’ if we make the decision and move on it. Yet, that is not how he needed to learn.
Each day I pray for guidance with my children…how to help them, what to say, what not to say and what I should and should not do for them. Some days these prayers remain as an open ended conversation, because I just need His wisdom. He knows these children so much deeper than I ever will.
As I thought about what I had felt, the impression came to me that I needed to step back and allow my son to learn this one. I received this feeling and prayed for strength to do so.
During our commutes, we were able to have good conversations about everything. I love the relationship I have with my son…he is wise beyond his years and also 13 in his thinking. It is an interesting, never dull combination. As we talked about him transferring schools, he rejected the idea at first. Then, as he saw the sacrifices we all were making for him, he took another look at what he wanted.
He asked for advice on how to make the best choice. “What do I do mom? I asked Heavenly Father to tell me what to do, but I didn’t get an answer.”
I talked to him about the gift we received before we came….our agency. This is one of the greatest learning tools we have. It gives us the opportunity to weigh decisions in our minds and make a choice based on what we know and feel. The best part is Heavenly Father wants us to use this agency, make choices and then come to Him with our decision. The key is being ready for His answer, because there are times when we think we have it all figured out with our limited scope and yet, with His eternal view, it is not what we need.
He was quite agitated in the spirit for a few days. Fortunately for us this kid is pretty transparent with his feelings. As with all teenagers, it takes some prodding, but he will eventually share what is in his heart. Watching him weigh this choice was difficutly beautiful. It is never easy to see our children struggle, however this is when they grow to be who they are meant to be.
Once he made his decision, he prayed and felt okay. He said it was the most peace he felt in a long time, because he had at least made a choice. His answer wasn’t quite what he thought it should be, so he did what most of us do…he did his best to create an atmosphere that would get the answer he wanted.
Heavenly Father knows better.
With the deadline of transferring coming up, he spent some time counselling with his Dad. My husband has a gift to help our children see things from different perspectives. This was vital to understanding why his prayers were answered the way that they were. He knew that staying in school where he was was not an option. So he returned to his knees and found the answer that brought true peace.
The change was made.
Standing back and giving him time was a gift to me. I saw the slightest of glimpses of how Heavenly Father works in our lives at times. Time…. He sees that we need to have the opportunity to weigh the options, learn what is important to us and then take it before Him. He is always ready to counsel with us and give us the next bit of knowledge.
The first few days of the new school have not been easy. He has mentioned more than a few times how he wants to go back to the familiar. Yet, because he received the answer from Heavenly Father, he knows he is where he is supposed to be. It doesn’t erase the adversity that comes when we are being strengthened. It does give us a certain level of peace, knowing that there is something greater than what we can see.
As time moves forward, he will understand the wisdom of what took place at this point in his life. Time….
I am grateful for the time I have to be his mom. He is one amazing boy.