Tonight I sit on our deck. The sky is clear and there is a beautiful, cool breeze gently blowing. I am in awe of the majesty of the sky above, the stars that give off enough light to show they are there. Collectively they paint a picture of the vastness above, yet their tiny lights show me that even I am known.
Life has felt a little heavy lately and I can’t put my finger on the reason why. I struggle at times during the day to find the strength to make it through all that is needed…and more. There are moments I feel so unqualified to be the mother that my amazing children need….to give them the strength and courage to rise above the world that surrounds them. There are moments I feel like I am not the wife I need to be to the incredibly smart, talented and strong man I am blessed to be married to. There are moments when I feel like I should be more….
I understand that there is one who would have me feel less than, because that is how he would have me feel. He would have me believe that I am not good enough to do all that is required of me. These lies are never told all at once, they are insidious…quiet…and creep in a little at a time.
My heart breaks when his lies are whispered in the ears of those I love. I feel powerless, because I know that they can be so easy to believe. I often look at them in disbelief, because I know if they saw what I see and work so hard to show them, they would never give a second thought to those thoughts of less than.
So with that thought, I am to look at myself the way that my Heavenly Father and Savior see me. It takes a lot of work…daily…hourly…minutely…yet it is the only way to push back against those lies. I have to remember that He has confidence in my strengths, abilities and heart. He has confidence in me that I will turn to Them when things feel like they are too much. He has confidence that I will stand up when I don’t have anything left.
Whatever He inspires, He opens the way to overcome, accomplish and achieve.
I have seen the moments of strength He has given me to be the wife and mother I need to be. Sometimes they are like the stars…a tiny bit of light that shows me I am known to Him.