It is all about the journey….

Archive for November, 2015

What If?

As I spent time alone this morning, I found myself thinking about my amazing children. As a Mom I have the tendency to want their lives to be free of tribulations and hard times. As a Mom who is trying her best to look at life through the eyes of Heavenly Father, I see that their tribulations and hard times shape them.WhatIf?

My son has been working through some pretty tough things in his heart lately. He is a leader. He is different. He is strong. He has vision. All qualities that do not always lead him down the easiest of paths in Junior High. I know this time of his life is full of wanting to fit in, have friends, be noticed by the ‘cute’ girls in the hall. However, it is hard to be a sheep when you were born to be a warrior.

My husband and I have such a huge responsibility to our children. As parents, we have been blessed to see who these amazing spirits are meant to be, we know truly how strong and important they are. Unfortunately, someone else does too. I have felt the challenge in my heart to become the mother they need to battle this other influence and have spent many hours in prayer for the ability and strength to be the protector, teacher, example and safety they need.

A question came into my heart as a response to these prayers….What if?

What if all that I have passed through in my life was tailored not only for my growth, but theirs too? What if all of the times I have been pushed to the end of my faith and strength were meant to teach my heart what they need to know? What if every time I was driven to my knees because I didn’t have strength to stand under all of the pressures I felt were times that brought me closer to Heaven so that I could see His face and KNOW? What if all of those things that I sacrificed were gifts that they needed to stand strong? What if every tear that has fallen has been counted for moments when they truly need a shoulder, heart and an understanding ear? What if every moment of joy and laughter were times that they could see heaven too?

What if?

I would do it all again in an instant for them so that they would KNOW. I would do it so that they can have strength to be the warriors they truly are meant to be…not the sheep that follow the crowd.

They are my What if….

They are my Gift from Heaven….

They are my Why….

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Abundance

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I were talking about life as it is, has been and where we want it to be. As we reviewed our past few years of specified growth, our eyes were opened as we saw things, that once allowed us to survive, that now hold us back from moving forward.abundance

I believe it is human nature to survive, however it is human choice to thrive. There are times in our lives for both actions, however to thrive we need to have open hearts and minds to the abundance that is in the world.

We have lived on faith, miracles and the greatest of generosity of those who love us for the past 3-4 years. It has been a path of scarcity, creativity and, at times, painful growth from the inside out. There have been more days than not that required fighting to keep my head and heart above water, hoping that at some point Heavenly Father would deliver us from it all.

And yet, I would not change a moment.

I love how Heavenly Father teaches me. He quietly unfolds the mysteries and answers the questions that are in my mind. I have watched so many people who thrive in their lives, they live and are so open to what the world has to offer them. I have wondered if that is something that I actually could attain, or if who I am meant to be was not that person. I ask a lot of questions to be taught as I am traveling on a dark, rough path. I truly want to understand so that I can have peace knowing it is His will.

As Kevin and I talked about our mindset it became obvious to us that we have lived for so long in scarcity mode that our minds have embraced it as how life is going to be. Truthfully, there was no peace with this realization. I looked at how I have talked, thought and acted as if there would not be enough and we needed to ‘pull in’ ‘hunker down’ and ‘not live’. While these actions are appropriate for very short periods of time to get our footing in rough spots, they are not meant to be long-term.

We were not created in a world of abundance to simply survive.

At some point in our conversation the word abundance was brought up. My mind caught hold of that word and it was as if an explosion took place. Where my mind and spirit was bound down before in scarcity, those walls were literally obliterated. I felt a freedom that I had not felt in so long I had forgotten about. I felt an openness in my mind and spirit….creativity returned, the need to reach out began to peek through, and the ability to receive inspiration opened up.

Each day I have found that when my mind is focused on abundance those things that would weigh me down have no effect on me. It is as though heaven opened up and I am able to understand why things happen at a new level. I see how the hand of God is working in our lives. Things that once caused so much fear and gut wrenching anxiety are now opportunities for ideas, creativity and blessings to be given.

I have found that within abundance we have the power to reach out, the ability to let go and the strength to move forward with faith…even when the road isn’t built yet.

God created this world with abundance everywhere. It is time for us to go get it.

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