It is all about the journey….

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

4 Miracles

To outsiders, the miracles in our lives can look very small. Yet, to the person seeking for the Hand of God, these miracles are evidence that He is truly, intimately involved in our lives.

This week we saw His hand….4 miracles

As I read in the Book of Ether (Book of Mormon), I came across a verse that truly stood out to my spirit. I didn’t understand why at the time, I just knew it would be significant in the week to come.

Behold, O Lord, thou canst do this. We know that thou art able to show forth great power, which looks small unto the understanding of men.

Last Sunday my son and I needed run down to my parent’s home to pick up something. As we got into the car, I noticed the level of fuel was quite low, however since they do not live very far from us I thought we could make it there and back. As we drove to their home, the gas level kept dropping faster than I thought it would so that by the time we arrived, the gauge said we had less than 15 miles left until empty. After a short visit with my parents, my son and I got back into the car and decided to pray that we would get home. You see, we do our best to not shop or purchase anything on Sunday, for it is our Sabbath. So in keeping with this commitment, we asked for help to get home.

The faith of a 14-year-old boy is powerful and his prayer was simple.

So with that in our hearts, we headed home. Because we live in the foothills of the mountains, we should have used more gas getting home than travelling to my parents. However, when we pulled into our garage, the gas gauge read that we had only travelled 3 miles and had 12 miles left until empty.

Miracle #1.

The next two miracles came a few days later when we had committed to taking a dessert to a party. Money has been more than tight for us and the option to run to the store and pick up a dozen eggs for the dessert was nonexistent. I really only needed two eggs, and thought I only had one. All week I avoided baking treats or anything that would require eggs, because there should have only been one. As I double checked the eggs, to my utter surprise there were two left in the carton. Two little, beautiful eggs. Just exactly what I needed.

After I baked the cookies, I noticed a container of frosting tucked back on the top shelf of the fridge, hiding if you will. It hadn’t been there very long and was still quite delicious, so I thought I would frost the cookies with it, hoping that there would be enough. Honestly there wasn’t a lot.

32 cookies later, with 1 left, the frosting ran out. My heart was full of gratitude.

Miracles 2 & 3.

Yesterday I looked at our supplies for breakfast and lunch to begin the week. We needed 6 things to be able to have what the kids need for these two meals. I knew the $10 we had to spend would not cover it, so I checked my purse again only to find an extra $3. With a prayer in my heart I went to the store to retrieve the items we needed. I truly should have felt scared or anxious. Yet, there was peace in my spirit as I placed each item in the basket.

To my relief and joy, the total came to $13.08.

Miracle #4.

These may not seem like anything huge to those looking in from the outside. They may seem completely insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

However…

To hearts struggling to survive this week they were evidence of the great power that Heavenly Father manifests in our lives.

…by small and simple things are great things brought to pass…

Through 4 small miracles a greater knowledge of His deep and abiding love was brought to pass.

 

Advertisements

Just Because

Have you ever had a tender moment and as you wanted to share it the words were simply not as powerful as what you felt?

Just BecauseToday I experienced one of those moments…..but I will do my best to share.

As I listened to the Sacrament prayers today one line sank deep into my heart…

….that they may always have his Spirit to be with them…

Pondering this I thought about something else I had read earlier this week in the Book of Mormon….

And after they had slain the Messiah, who should come, and after he had been slain he should rise from the dead, and should make himself manifest, by the Holy Ghost, unto the Gentiles.

The part of that scripture that stood out to me was that it is through the power of the Holy Ghost that we will and do know our Savior. I honestly feel like the deeper knowledge we have of this power, the greater relationship we will have with the Savior.

I imagine in Heaven, before we came here, that we looked to Him for the leadership, love and strength we needed as we fought to keep the power to choose that Heavenly Father had given us, and that the enemy wanted to take. I am sure that war was one of words.

It seems to me that when the choices were made there was no gray line that separated us….it was a clear defining line between those who would keep their power to choose and those who surrendered it. Pressing forward to the Savior would mean that we would have to walk by them as they sneered, teased, yelled and did all they could to deter us. Tears would have been coursing down my cheeks, because these were my brothers and sisters….some I would have known at an intimate level.

Yet, press forward to Him I would…because the Holy Ghost would be there showing me the way, strengthening my resolve and comforting my broken, yet undeterred heart.

It is not unlike here, on earth….pressing forward to return to Him.

I have learned that there are times when I am taught a specific lesson, like this one to prepare me for a fight to come, a trial to pass through or counsel to give. Other times we are shown beautiful truths…just because.

Today it was just because….Just because I sought Him in my heart and wanted His spirit to always be with me.

Lifting Me

Tonight I was given one of the sweetest gifts…it came from one of the best I have ever known. What could be thought of as ‘no big deal’ was a miracle in my heart.

Let me back up….

This week has been one of the heaviest I have carried since our whirlwind move a few months ago. Returning to school has been a leap of faith for all of us, because of the sacrifices it requires. I truly felt like I was just a being living in our home…not a mom, wife, daughter, friend, or anything really…just a being tied to a computer and a notebook. I seriously lived minute to minute, assignment to assignment, test to test.

Through it all our son had a major basketball tournament, we were able to help out my brother by taking his daughter (win-win situation for our daughter) and all of the daily things that life entails.

Today was the last test I needed to take for the week…I wanted so badly to do really well, however it seemed like everything was running together and smashing up in my brain. There was nothing left for me to do but take the test. I held my breath as the score was being generated, and when I saw it my heart fell. My score was not a reflection of the knowledge I have worked so hard to acquire….

As I walked out of the testing center my heart turned to prayer and my eyes filled with tears. It seemed as though the delicate balance I had worked so hard to maintain all week was toppled and everything crashed down. It was a long ride home….

MyLoveWalking into our front room my sweet husband took one look at me and knew…knew that life had crashed. He is such a gift to me…a balm to my heart when it is broken. Truly in a situation like this, there are rarely the right words to speak, yet he found them.

He has the innate ability to calm my heart, lift my eyes and bring peace to my soul when there seems no peace to be found.

With still more to do, I felt the tug of my babies needing a mom. I listened as they told me how much they have missed me and how hard it is sometimes now that I am in school. I cried with my daughter as she asked if we could have some ‘just us’ time. I listened to my son as he expressed his fatigue and need for help in overcoming the ‘silly thoughts’ that plague him when he is tired. It was difficulty magic…if you can say that.

I wanted so badly to help my husband with one of the last things to get done for the day, yet he asked me to finish my last thing…prepare a lesson for tomorrow. I felt so empty. How could I even begin to find what I needed to share with these girls I have been called to serve? How could I even share with them, when I had nothing left?

As I prayed for help and relief, my eyes were directed to the kitchen….there stood my husband, quietly doing the dishes….so I wouldn’t have to. It touched my heart so deeply that he would do this for me, that he would lift my burden. He is a gift to my heart, my life and my soul. He is my rock. I am so grateful to be his.

Who We Truly Are

Who We Truly AreTonight I was reminded of a deep and powerful truth and I felt like I needed to share….like somebody needed to hear it too.

In the Pearl of Great Price, God reveals himself to Moses. As He is speaking with Moses there are many times when God refers to Moses as, “my son.” He could have called Moses anything, and yet God chose to show Moses who he truly is…a son of God.

It would be easy to pass this story off and say that He has never spoken to me face-to-face, so what would it mean for me? Yet, the deep meaning here is the most powerful knowledge that we could ever have…

We are His.

We are His daughters.

We are His sons.

We are His.

As such, we have divinity within us. We have the capabilities to face things that feel bigger than us and overcome. We have the gifts to do more than we ever thought we had power to do. We have the knowledge that there is someone greater than everything who loves us deeply.

There have been many times that I have forgotten this reality. As I have allowed this knowledge to fade from my heart, I have seen firsthand the sadness, fear, anxiety, loneliness and heartache that takes it place. I know I cannot live without Him there.

So many of life’s problems come when we forget who we truly are. Yet, so many of life’s problems are overcome when we remember and trust.

Because we are His, we have within us the strength to overcome, the power to move forward, the gift to change and the ability to see. There is nothing He would have us do that we cannot accomplish. We are truly powerful.

It is truly humbling to my heart to think that I have a portion of who He is within me, especially when I see my weaknesses and know that I have so far to go. The beauty is…He sees this all too and offers His strength freely. Freely.

How thankful I am for the beautiful reminder that penetrated my heart.

I am His.

I am a daughter of God.

Loaves and Fishes

This morning I was taught by the Spirit. We are in the process of making a major change in our lives. As with any change of this magnitude, there are pros and cons, things that make sense and that don’t.

As I have weighed the pros and cons and looked at everything that makes sense and wondered at what does not, I turned to my Heavenly Father in prayer. I asked for Him to guide my mind so that I can make the right decision, even if it is one that does not make sense to my mortal mind.

Loaves and FishesHe is always so kind and patient in His teachings.

My mind kept wandering down different paths and their perceived outcomes. I began to notice that as it would wander down certain paths…the ones that seemed to make the most logical sense, my mind would darken and I would feel a certain level of anxiety in my heart. I realized that it was His gentle way of showing me what He needs us to do right now.

I have worried about having enough, being able to have the means to live and do what we need to do. It is something that has weighed on my heart for over 3 years. Again, this worry came to the front of my heart.

I was reminded of a story in Matthew chapter 14. It is a time when Jesus is working through the death of John the Baptist, His beloved cousin and friend. The multitudes find Him and want what we all want…time and healing. His compassion is overwhelming to my heart that still struggles with giving when I am hurting. He teaches, heals and loves each one of these people.

At the end of the day, His disciples tell Him to send them away so that they can find food. They scoff a bit when He asks them to feed the multitude. As they share with Him that they have but little, He asks them to bring their bread and fishes to Him.

This is where the story touched my soul today….

Knowing full well that He had the power to multiply these loaves and fishes to feed everyone, He turns to His Father…our Father and thanks Him for the bounty they have.

After this prayer the multitude was fed.

The miracle is what was left over….more than the initial offering made to Heavenly Father.

The gratitude Jesus had for what little they had allowed the miracle to come to pass.

In the quiet moments I have enjoyed today, I have found so much comfort and strength to move forward down the path that does not necessarily make sense to the world. I am so thankful for the little whisperings of the Spirit that teach me to be like my Savior and trust in our Father to provide.

For You

For YouThe August rains have come. I love the respite they bring from the overpowering heat of the summer. The sound of the leaves dancing in the wind along with the song of the rain bring peace to my soul.

For the past few weeks I have been swimming in a cloud of darkness. Most mornings when I wake up it doesn’t take any time for it to wrap itself around my heart and mind. These days are quite frankly a little difficult to get through, yet somehow I do.

I came to learn last night that this darkness is an overwhelming amount of oppression, coming from the source that does not want us to succeed in any endeavor we undertake. Somehow, he paints the picture that the darkness is our doing, our fault and we are weak because we are experiencing it. I had begun to wonder if these lies were truths and what had I done to create such a nasty place in myself.

Questions of why were abounding in my mind…why does He take us to and well beyond our breaking point? why does He want us to feel like we are alone? why does He show me things that are so big and seemingly distant without showing me how? why does He not answer the many prayers that I have uttered? why am I so weak that I cannot endure this well? why does it seem that there are more questions than answers? why does it feel like the load I am carrying continues to get heavier as I get weaker?

As I shared all of this with my husband he simply smiled, kissed me and said, “I think you are amazing.” He said, “The one thing you haven’t done is give up, even though you are close. You continue to search for Him and seek His voice.” Feeling anything but amazing I let the tears flow. I just needed something….anything from Him.

Last night also happened to be the night of no sleep. My sweet daughter came down with a little summer bug which was not restful for either one of us. I didn’t feel I had much to give, so cried with her and for her. She said, “Mom, when we don’t feel like we have anything else we should just pray.” Her faith was inspired and healing. I allowed my heart to draw on the little faith it had left for her.

This morning she reached a point that she needed to sleep, so I curled up on the floor next to the couch where she was resting. During those moments before and after deep sleep I had a sweet feeling come through my mind and heart. “It is all for you. I do all of this for you. Hold on.”

Sometimes He needs to take us to a breaking point and past so that He can teach us and show us how He works. I see things differently after all of this than I did before. I have so far to go, but knowing it is all for us, because He loves us gives me strength to go on.

His Peace

DSCN2306The quiet of the morning is my favorite time of day. I love to sit on my front porch to read scriptures and drink in the newness of the day. I have found that this is when I find many answers to the questions that lie within my heart.

It never ceases to amaze me how the answers to unspoken questions come. I am often taken back by the stillness of the voice that speaks in my heart and mind. It has a way of answering these questions with truth and ideas that I know I could never have found on my own.

I have come to love these moments on the porch deeply. Our lives have been wrapped in overwhelming questions as of late. It has seemed that with each moment of clarity more questions have come up. It becomes quite overwhelming at times. Yet, the moments on the porch have given me the most clarity.

Today I woke up with a darkness that had settled in my heart and mind. It is not something I am unfamiliar with, yet today it was quite powerful. The darkness brought with it feelings of despair and hopelessness. I felt lost with nothing to offer. It was all I could do to utter a small prayer of gratitude for a new day (I am sure my heart was not fully in that one, but I did the best I could) and stumble out of the bedroom.

I am thankful for the power of ritual, because it gave me the strength to pick up my scriptures and head outside. The coolness of the morning cleared my heart a little and I found a little bit greater capacity to talk to my Heavenly Father. Again, it wasn’t an amazing prayer, but it was all I had.

I honestly don’t remember much of what I read, but I know it was what I needed to do to reconnect with Him.

As I finished and came inside, there was renewed desire to pray. The darkness continued to envelope my heart, but I felt like I had what I needed to share what was in there with Him. It is scary at times to really share with Him when my heart feels like it is wrapped in stone. I opened as much of it as I had strength for and spoke what I could and felt what I couldn’t.

Deep down I knew that the answer I desired was not going to be the answer I was going to receive. It is just the way it is right now. Yet, as I finished speaking to Him I felt something. Peace. It was manna to my soul. My mind was reminded of something Jesus Christ said to His disciples:

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.        John 14:27

DSCN2307Honestly, I do not know what the future holds for our little family, yet He gives His peace. It is truly the calm within the storm, the rock that strengthens our hearts to take one more step and the hope that there are greater things coming.

Today, His peace will keep the darkness from overtaking my heart.

Tag Cloud