Every now and then I hear something that sticks in my mind, as if to say, “you will need this soon”. A few days ago I was in the middle of one of my favorite and most challenging workouts (Insanity) and Shaun T said, “Keep Fighting!!!” His words were meant to inspire me to get through that particular set…which they did. They also took hold, waiting for the moment they would be needed.
There are times in our lives when waves of self-doubt, insecurity, weakness and overwhelmed crash in on our souls. Without warning they strike and they come with such fury and power that it is difficult to stand…literally. It was as though the wind had been sucked out of my lungs and any strength I had in my body was taken. As I stood, doubled over, I thought to myself, “I know there are angels to help me stand. I know they are there. I need to keep fighting.” It was all I could do to lift myself up, but I fought through.
I crumbled into my husband’s arms. With the amazing wisdom he has, he gave me the time to compose myself and share. I felt so ashamed, because for a brief moment I almost gave in to these feelings that were meant to crush my heart. All I wanted to do was curl up in a corner and let life move on. It truly scared me. He didn’t say much, but what he did gave my soul the peace and strength it needed to go on. He said, “You are such a fighter, quitting is not in your nature.” and “I don’t have much to say, but the feelings I am getting are for you to hold on, just keep holding on.”
Not much changed in the way of life, however my heart did. It found the fight that was almost swept away. There is something in my heart that loves a good fight. I love the training I have received through karate to defend and fight. I love the challenge of a good workout that forces me to fight through the next set, because I know I am getting stronger (even if I am acutely aware of the weaknesses I am working on strengthening). I love the challenge that comes with figuring out how the Savior would have me live and what I need to do. I love the fight.
I see in life that Heavenly Father has given me moments when the fight is particularly intense, when every day seems like an exercise in faith, when every decision forces me to dig deep and find the belief that all will turn out. Then there are the little respites that my heart and soul need to rest for a little bit. Each day brings an exercise of strength, be it in the thick of battle or in rest.
The key is to keep fighting. Keep your hands up. Keep throwing those punches. Keep moving, dodging. Keep training. Look for those who are in your corner holding you up when your strength seems to fail. Look to the One who knows how strong you really are…and will help you see it too.