Truth or Lies

One of the greatest truths we can ever find is who we truly are. For whatever reason, this truth is so easily hidden under layers of lies and comparisons.

The other day I was out for a run. I never listen to music or anything, because it is my time to be still and hear in my heart and mind. As my mind was wandering a thought brought my wanderings to a standstill. “What lies are you buying into when you should be buying into MY truths?”

Sometimes all it takes is a question to clarify thoughts and feelings. Simply said, why do I listen to the lies that tell me everything I am not when I should be holding on to the truths that tell me everything I AM.

The more I have thought about this the more I see how real it is. Every lie starts with, “you are not…”

• good enough
• beautiful
• strong enough
• confident
• the same as everyone else
• wealthy enough
• able to do anything

The more lies we buy into the more we deny the gifts, powers, and abilities God has given us. Every one of us is given talents that are unique to us that will allow us to make a difference. Yet, as we listen to everything we are not, these gifts begin to fade away or take a backseat.

I have been thinking a lot about the gifts I have been blessed with, wondering if there are some that I have locked away. One day I prayed and asked to be shown the gifts I had hidden, so that I can use them again. One popped into my mind…

For the longest time I had considered being an empath to be a weakness. I wanted to be a badass and I didn’t think feeling deeply was part of that equation. I thought that strength could not be developed if my heart was squishy.

Lie.

Fortunately, Heavenly Father is kind, patient, and knows much better than we do. He patted me on the head and gave it back after I asked. Feeling the hearts of those I am connected to has been so powerful. It is truly a blessing to be able to understand and help. The truth is the gifts He gives us makes us MORE.

I have thought a lot about the fact that one of the things I thought was wrong about me was actually a gift. How many things do we feel are ‘wrong’ that are actually WHO WE ARE? Knowing this, what does that change? I have known so many people who feel like who they are is wrong, because they are different. It has been a trial for a very long time. What if that perspective changed and they could see all of it as a gift?

The Savior in the scriptures always described himself with I AM… All that He said about himself was truth. When we tap into our gifts and the truths about ourselves…even if it feels strange at first…we are given so much more. The parts of our hearts and souls that feel lost are found. We stop fighting against those truths that bring us joy and we find peace.

What do you fight against that is truly a gift? What would change if you embraced that gift? Ask Him….He will answer.

The Bridge

Towards the end of my trail run is a beautiful bridge that crosses over a little river running out of the mountains. It is one of my favorite places, because 1. it marks the final ascent on my run and 2. it has taught me many lessons about myself. 

The bridge sits high up above the water. It is a very sturdy bridge made of solid wood and steel. There are no movements from the bridge as it is crossed, be it running or walking. Did I mention it is very high up?

Ever since I can remember, I have had a paralyzing fear of heights. There is no rush of happy adrenaline for me when I am high up, it is pure flight adrenaline. Some days I wish I knew what caused this intense fear, so I could overcome. For now, I will continue to live with it and learn from it.

The first time I crossed the bridge, I walked straight down the middle, my eyes focused on the other side. I counted my steps so that I knew I was making progress and would shortly be off the bridge. My fear of heights truly blinded me to the beauty that one sees and hears in that place. I could not look up to see the green trees nor see the river that was happily passing below. I simply survived that part of the hike, going and coming.

As I have thought back on that particular hike, I realized that fear truly blinds us to the amazing truths and opportunities that God has placed before us. Not trusting in the security of His love and our Savior denies us the ability to fully live up to our potential and see our incredible world.

Another lesson I learned came as I ran across the bridge the first time I conquered the trail running. On the other side of the bridge, I realized that I felt no fear. This moment was very powerful to me at this time of my life.

There have been many days that have felt heavy and very overwhelming. Uncertainty has cast a huge shadow over our lives and some days are downright scary. This fear is so acute when I feel like I do not have the ability to move, fix the situation or create what is needed to move forward. I lose sense of who I am and Whose I am.

Running across the bridge that day taught me that as long I am moving, trusting in the solid foundation of my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, fear cannot overtake me. The storms of uncertainty may rage and the sanctifying fires may burn, however I know I can overcome if I keep moving along the path They have given me.

A few times I have stopped my run and carefully walked across the bridge, taking the time to see, listen and feel everything around me. I have swallowed my fear, pushing it down to a place where it has little power over me. The sounds of the birds singing and the water gurgling fill my soul with pure happiness. Watching the trees change color and prepare themselves for winter is breathtaking. Feeling the warmth of the sun and the coolness of the canyon all at once is very renewing.

I learned that I have power over my fear. I learned that the creations of God are truly gifts to our souls, enabling us to become so much more. I learned that looking, hearing and feeling are imperative to recognizing how He works in my life. In all of our lives. I learned that He knows me, understands my fear and strengthens me as He teaches me.

This bridge has become a sacred place to me. It is a natural temple wherein I see His hand, feel His love and hear His voice.

 

Unique and Beautiful

One of the most peaceful moments I have is watching the snow fall quietly. It is almost surreal at times as the snowflakes find their way to the earth. Each snowflake is unique and beautiful. Each has a purpose.

As I have pondered the beauty of God’s creations, I see in each of them a unique beauty and purpose. He has placed everything and everyone where they are for a reason. Those reasons are usually only known to Him, however there are moments we get to see into His great heart and understand.

Today I received a beautiful gift from Him. I had a few minutes to simply sit, think and watch. The ‘solitude’ was something I needed right then. Looking into my backyard, the snow began to fall. My mind took the opportunity and wandered wherever it wanted to go. I thought about how much He loves me, it humbled me. I thought about how perfect His plan for me is, again I was humbled. I thought about how unique He made me and in that is a special beauty that He has given me.

My heart turned to the many amazing people that I am blessed to know. As I thought about each of them I saw this unique and special beauty that is a true gift from Him. They are all incredible people, with amazing talents reserved for them. I was humbled to realize that they are all in my life…for a purpose.

I have to wonder what would happen if we all recognized this unique beauty that has been given us…all of us. How much closer would Heaven be if we could see ourselves through His eyes, if only for a moment each day? How much strength would we have to let go of the things that hold us back and cause us unnecessary heartache? How much more would we be able to give those who need us?

We have been blessed with 2 incredible children. I watch as they navigate this life, learning and becoming who they are. There is so much around them that would have them be less than, more like and not enough. Daily we tell them how amazing they are, specifically. Yet, sometimes words are not enough. They need to see that their Daddy and I feel within ourselves what we say. They need to realize that we are happy with who we are, what we are becoming and how we are getting there.

Some days are simply a battle just to survive. Yet, everyday we have the ability to choose to see ourselves as He does…no matter how many times we have fallen down. We find these glimpses in the simplest places, quietest moments and in the mirror.

May we all take a moment and look, so that we may understand we are unique and beautiful.

Reblogged from own-who-you-are.com.

In The Eyes

A few nights ago the world creeped ever so quietly into my son’s heart. His heart was broken and he didn’t know what to do. As I sat quietly on the bed next to him I prayed to have the wisdom to help him. You see he felt less than everyone else around him. In his eyes he didn’t measure up to his heroes and he felt a little broken.

My heart broke inside my chest and we cried together.

Deliverance

When I was 5 years old I was hit by a car. I flew up into the air, landed on the hood of the car, and bounced onto the road. As a result I broke my left leg, lost a lot of skin to the road and lived. The miracle is that I was not drug under the car, there was an EMT 20 yards away who set my leg and stopped the bleeding and finally I have not had any lasting physical effects from that event.

My Strengths Are My Strengths

I am not a gym rat, but I truly love a good gut wrenching, sweat inducing, pain causing workout. My preferred workouts are done in the solitary confines of my living room with my good friends Shaun T and Tony Horton. Insanity and P90X2 have brought more moments of pushing through, near barfing and painful strengthening than anything else I have found…for me. I have fallen in love with interval training and muscle confusion, because that is how life goes for me (a little bit of intervals and a lot of confusion).