It is all about the journey….

Posts tagged ‘growth’

Seeking

Have you ever felt like you were destined to something more? Have you ever felt deep in your heart there is something greater you are meant to do? Have you ever felt lost, not knowing where to begin looking?

SeekingThis is where I have found myself over the past few years.

I have learned that it is very healthy to ask questions, especially when knowledge is needed but not readily available. So this is where I find myself at this time….

I remember coming out of high school I had my life pretty much mapped out…college, degree, professional career, marriage and family. It looked good on paper.

Then Heavenly Father stepped in with His plan.

His plan included a mission (wearing dresses every day:) ), marriage, PTA training, and staying home with our two amazing children. I have not regretted leaving my field of work to be with our kids. I felt early on in motherhood (with the help of my husband) that it was much more important for these two spirits that I am home for them than it was for me to work.

Yesterday as I was taking care of my daily chores I began to reflect on some things personal things I have been taught by the Spirit. I wondered how they would come about, especially with where I am at in life. I so wanted to see a glimpse of things to come, however I know it is not to be.

Then the quiet whispering came again…”I need more from you. You are meant to do so much more.”

It was unmistakably from the Spirit, because of the feelings of peace that accompanied it. Yet, I do not know what to do. I do not know where to even begin looking. I have no idea what I have to offer that He would need. Who am I and what can I do? is the question that has been occupying a good portion of my mind.

I realize my next step in life is greatly determined by how I look at the path before me. I have the choice to embrace the unknown and step in, knowing He will find me there. Or. I have the choice to sit back and wait for any light to keep me safe stepping into the unknown. Or. I have the choice to not even move.

Choice 3 is not an option, because there is no happiness in stagnation.

Choice 2 sounds safe, however I truly feel like I would miss what I am supposed to learn if I wait.

Choice 1 is a bit terrifying, because I have no idea what lies ahead. BUT it is the choice of greatest growth and therein lies joy and happiness, life and energy, learning and growth.

So I seek….for what I need to do now….for who I need to become….for Him.

It is only in the darkness of the unknown that I will find the answers to the questions in my heart.

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Time

It has been just over a week in our new home, new area and new adventures. I am often amazed at how much learning Heavenly Father can fit into one week….one day.

Last week was filled with adapting and change. It became apparent quickly that there would be more change necessary for our son as we navigated his schooling. More than anything he wanted to stay where he was, because there were so many good friends and (I hate to say this as a Mom, but I will) girls. It was a good school.

I had the feeling near the beginning of the week that it would be his last week there. In my normal way, I wanted to just tell him that it was time to change and be done with it. ITimet is just ‘easier’ if we make the decision and move on it. Yet, that is not how he needed to learn.

Each day I pray for guidance with my children…how to help them, what to say, what not to say and what I should and should not do for them. Some days these prayers remain as an open ended conversation, because I just need His wisdom. He knows these children so much deeper than I ever will.

As I thought about what I had felt, the impression came to me that I needed to step back and allow my son to learn this one. I received this feeling and prayed for strength to do so.

During our commutes, we were able to have good conversations about everything. I love the relationship I have with my son…he is wise beyond his years and also 13 in his thinking. It is an interesting, never dull combination. As we talked about him transferring schools, he rejected the idea at first. Then, as he saw the sacrifices we all were making for him, he took another look at what he wanted.

He asked for advice on how to make the best choice. “What do I do mom? I asked Heavenly Father to tell me what to do, but I didn’t get an answer.”

I talked to him about the gift we received before we came….our agency. This is one of the greatest learning tools we have. It gives us the opportunity to weigh decisions in our minds and make a choice based on what we know and feel. The best part is Heavenly Father wants us to use this agency, make choices and then come to Him with our decision. The key is being ready for His answer, because there are times when we think we have it all figured out with our limited scope and yet, with His eternal view, it is not what we need.

He was quite agitated in the spirit for a few days. Fortunately for us this kid is pretty transparent with his feelings. As with all teenagers, it takes some prodding, but he will eventually share what is in his heart. Watching him weigh this choice was difficutly beautiful. It is never easy to see our children struggle, however this is when they grow to be who they are meant to be.

Once he made his decision, he prayed and felt okay. He said it was the most peace he felt in a long time, because he had at least made a choice. His answer wasn’t quite what he thought it should be, so he did what most of us do…he did his best to create an atmosphere that would get the answer he wanted.

Heavenly Father knows better.

With the deadline of transferring coming up, he spent some time counselling with his Dad. My husband has a gift to help our children see things from different perspectives. This was vital to understanding why his prayers were answered the way that they were. He knew that staying in school where he was was not an option. So he returned to his knees and found the answer that brought true peace.

The change was made.

Standing back and giving him time was a gift to me. I saw the slightest of glimpses of how Heavenly Father works in our lives at times. Time…. He sees that we need to have the opportunity to weigh the options, learn what is important to us and then take it before Him. He is always ready to counsel with us and give us the next bit of knowledge.

The first few days of the new school have not been easy. He has mentioned more than a few times how he wants to go back to the familiar. Yet, because he received the answer from Heavenly Father, he knows he is where he is supposed to be. It doesn’t erase the adversity that comes when we are being strengthened. It does give us a certain level of peace, knowing that there is something greater than what we can see.

As  time moves forward, he will understand the wisdom of what took place at this point in his life. Time….

I am grateful for the time I have to be his mom. He is one amazing boy.

Growth Spurt

We have two amazing children. I say that because I am their mom and I see all of the incredible little things that they do. One of the most amazing things I see is the way that they grow…physically and OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAspiritually.

They have a little growth chart on the back of their doors, where every month we measure how much they have grown. Some months there is barely a visible change; other months my jaw literally drops. What is crazy to me is the months that I don’t see a great change on the chart, I see the most growth in them. (more…)

Looking, Seeing, Believing

file9751272655027It is a new day. I love the potential and promise of a new day. There is so much to accomplish in these hours we have been given. Moving forward each day is an opportunity to become more than what we are when we wake up. (more…)

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