It is all about the journey….

Posts tagged ‘school’

Lifting Me

Tonight I was given one of the sweetest gifts…it came from one of the best I have ever known. What could be thought of as ‘no big deal’ was a miracle in my heart.

Let me back up….

This week has been one of the heaviest I have carried since our whirlwind move a few months ago. Returning to school has been a leap of faith for all of us, because of the sacrifices it requires. I truly felt like I was just a being living in our home…not a mom, wife, daughter, friend, or anything really…just a being tied to a computer and a notebook. I seriously lived minute to minute, assignment to assignment, test to test.

Through it all our son had a major basketball tournament, we were able to help out my brother by taking his daughter (win-win situation for our daughter) and all of the daily things that life entails.

Today was the last test I needed to take for the week…I wanted so badly to do really well, however it seemed like everything was running together and smashing up in my brain. There was nothing left for me to do but take the test. I held my breath as the score was being generated, and when I saw it my heart fell. My score was not a reflection of the knowledge I have worked so hard to acquire….

As I walked out of the testing center my heart turned to prayer and my eyes filled with tears. It seemed as though the delicate balance I had worked so hard to maintain all week was toppled and everything crashed down. It was a long ride home….

MyLoveWalking into our front room my sweet husband took one look at me and knew…knew that life had crashed. He is such a gift to me…a balm to my heart when it is broken. Truly in a situation like this, there are rarely the right words to speak, yet he found them.

He has the innate ability to calm my heart, lift my eyes and bring peace to my soul when there seems no peace to be found.

With still more to do, I felt the tug of my babies needing a mom. I listened as they told me how much they have missed me and how hard it is sometimes now that I am in school. I cried with my daughter as she asked if we could have some ‘just us’ time. I listened to my son as he expressed his fatigue and need for help in overcoming the ‘silly thoughts’ that plague him when he is tired. It was difficulty magic…if you can say that.

I wanted so badly to help my husband with one of the last things to get done for the day, yet he asked me to finish my last thing…prepare a lesson for tomorrow. I felt so empty. How could I even begin to find what I needed to share with these girls I have been called to serve? How could I even share with them, when I had nothing left?

As I prayed for help and relief, my eyes were directed to the kitchen….there stood my husband, quietly doing the dishes….so I wouldn’t have to. It touched my heart so deeply that he would do this for me, that he would lift my burden. He is a gift to my heart, my life and my soul. He is my rock. I am so grateful to be his.

Closer at the End…

DSCN1337Today marks the end of summer vacation in our home. It is eerily quiet in the house. In years past I have looked forward to this day with great anticipation…not today. I already miss them and it has only been 45 minutes.

My kids are amazing. I love these two incredible spirits! They are as different as fire and ice, yet they both have brought so much life and love into our lives.

As I walked home from dropping them off at school, I thought about the summer and what we experienced that made it different from every other summer. We didn’t go on any elaborate family vacations, we actually didn’t do more than a couple of extras this year. Yet, we had a blast. It speaks a lot about the giants I am raising (not just stature) when they did not complain that we were not on vacation or out doing things other people were doing.

This summer we became closer as a family than we have ever been. I am so thankful for each day we spent together. When I say ‘we’, I mean the entire family. It is a blessing in our lives that my husband is with us every day, all day. I know not every family could do this, so I am thankful ours can.

I learned that it is not in the grand things that we draw closer to each other. It is in the simple moments of going on a hike, building Legos, playing a video game or two together, reading, coloring, chatting, eating together, practicing karate and so much more that we have the moments to truly bind our hearts together.

We were blessed with the opportunity to spend time helping my parents build a wall in their backyard (something we all lovingly refer to as prison work) and landscape. I was able to capture moments in my heart watching my children draw closer to their grandparents. These are priceless times that no camera could fully capture, but my soul has them.

There have been many a Friday evening when my husband’s mom would come up to eat and play games with us. We thoroughly enjoyed our time with her. She and the kids had this fun and sweet banter they would share. They have been able to share moments with her that will bring joy into their hearts when they recall them down the road.

The blessings we have received this summer are overwhelming; the greatest of which is the closeness we have gained. I love who my kids are. I love that we get to see them become the amazing people they are.

As much as I am sad that the summer has ended, I am excited for the journey they have started today. I look forward to sharing the adventure of a new school year with them, because it brings with it even more opportunities to become closer.

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